big hearts are for breaking
by loveisallwegot
Summary: Madeline Stryder lives in California. Nothing would stand out about her in a crowd. That is, until Justin Bieber moves next door and she has no idea who he is. She'll get the whole world buzzing about her, and soon enough, the crowd is surrounding her.
1. Chapter 1

You know that feeling you get when you step into hot water? Your body comes alive with goosebumps, and you know right away that you can't handle what you're getting yourself into. That's my life. I'm always getting myself neck deep in the shit I can't handle. There's always a new thing I'll never understand, I'll never understand the dreams i have with strangers in them, people I've never met or seen before, I'll never understand that hot water goose-bump feeling, I'll never understand why people can keep going back to what hurts them. But, I'm old enough to understand that once we understand everything the world looses it's shine. Curiosity killed the cat, but the cat had nine lives. So here i am, staring aimlessly out the window looking across the street. Watching movers unpack and push couches into the mansion across the street. I'm watching the little kids with the lemonade stand beg them to just buy one cup. "Take a picture," I hear from behind me, "It'll last longer." It's my brother. He's the only constant in my life. My constant annoyance. I turn around to look at him without saying a word. He's already plopped on the couch with his legs sprawled over the sides. Me being curious old me, I'm already on my way to the door before my brother tries to insult me again.

It's hot out. I can feel the sun pounding on my face and body. My walkway seems forever long, and then i finally get screamed at. "Madeline!" the little girls say, "Could you just please buy some lemonade?" I look at them, they are so desperate. I would be too, all these people out and about in the hot weather that wont even buy one cup of lemonade that their mom probably whipped together in the kitchen. I've been in the same situation before, so i had to. Walking up to the stand i got cut off. I backed up. The person who cut me off turned. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there" he said. It was a boy who looked about my age, sandy brown hair, light brown eyes, they could even be hazel, but I honestly can't tell, and he had a pretty nice smile. "You should probably pay more attention" I said, getting kind of annoyed. He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, and i could tell that he was truly sorry. "Let me make it up to you?" he asked smiling, "I''ll pay for your drink." A little laugh escaped my mouth, and I didn't mean to let it loose. "So, I take that as an 'I forgive you?'" he asked laughing. I rolled my eyes to the side, and laughed "I suppose it's your lucky day, I'm Madeline by the way." He purchased two lemonades and handed me one, "I'm Justin," he said looking behind me at my house "I see we're neighbors. Your house is huge" I pulled my eyebrows in with confusion, had this kid even seen his house? I stared aimlessly into my lemonade before finally taking a sip. It was sour. I guess he could tell I thought it was sour by the way I twisted my face. I laughed, "please, like you've never had sour lemonade." He smiled, "I have. Who hasn't?" He took a pause before drinking his own cup of lemonade, "And by the way, I think your laugh is very cute." Twisting my feet together and cupping my hands on my face i became embarrassed. "It's scolding outside, I'm going in." I said looking at him in the eyes, which were gorgeous. I turned around and already stated walking to my front door and I heard the slight muffle of footsteps behind me. "Hey! Wait up!" Justin called after me. "Don't I get to learn more about you? I think you're cute, I want to know more!" I turned around and smiled a cool, flirty smile. "I guess you could come in." i said gripping the door.

OKAY, I PROMISE THIS WILL PICK UP, THE FIRST CHAPTER IS ALWAYS THE MOST AWKWARD!


	2. Chapter 2

The handle on my door was cold for a summer day. I invited Justin in, and my brother peeked his head up from where he was watching television. My brother looked directly at me as if he knew something I didn't. "This is my brother," I said, looking at Justin "I try to ignore him." Without missing a beat Justin looked directly at my brother waved, and smiled. He was really starting to look flawless in my eyes. I pushed my hair out of my eyes with a single sweep of the back of my hand and motioned to Justin to come upstairs. Gripping the railing and trying to appear flawless as i walked up the stairs was hard. I was trying so hard to appear like i had it all together. When I finally made it to the top of the stairs I turned my head to make sure Justin was behind me. He was, and he was smiling "Well, that was a climb" he said laughing. I smiled at him, feeling a little nervous inside. I pulled on the handle to my room and instantly felt accomplished knowing that my room was clean. For once in my life there wasn't clothes on the floor like a whirlpool of earth tones, brights, and florals. "You keep surprising me." Justin said, turning his head to get a full on view of my room. "How so?" i asked, laying horizontally on my bed with my legs hanging off the side. He started laughing to himself, "The first reason is a secret. But I half expected your room to be pink and pretty." He plopped down on my bed next to me, although he was still sitting. I sat up, my hair flying behind me in the process. "So, you think my room is ugly?" i said, raising an eyebrow. "No, it's not like that," he said, immediately feeling sorry that he may have hurt my feelings, "your room is just, down to earth, you know?" He pulled back his lips and managed out another flawless smile. "You're kind of quiet, you know that?" I said to him, moving my legs together to sit criss-crossed on top of my bed. He raised an eyebrow like he thought I was mentally insane. "I'm not usually, I guess you just make me shy." He said, laughing at the end of his words.

Tension building in the air is my favorite feeing. It's almost like, you know something is going to happen, and you just hav to pinpoint the exact moment in time it's actually going to take place. It's the mystery of life. Right now, I just need to pinpoint when this kid is going to let me down. He seems almost too good to be true. Not in the sense that I love him, because I don't. I can't. I just met him. I refuse to let myself love somebody I just met. But knowing this kid for an hour makes me feel like he's there to listen. But all good things come to an end. I just have to know when it's time to give up, and when I need to keep fighting.

"Making people shy is kind of like my job," I say not taking any word that just fell out of my mouth serious. He laughs, "I think I want to know more about you." I do a half smile, "There's not much to know, I'm still figuring myself out." He looks at me "Well, you should figure yourself out before 7." I can't quite twist my brain around what he is trying to say. "What?" I ask, looking directly in his eyes. "That's when I'd like to take you out to dinner," He said, smiling and moving closer to me. "Well, if that's okay with you." I press my hands against my hair and run them down until the reach my blond ends nearly at my ribs. "I'd like that" I say smiling and biting my tongue all at them same time.


	3. Chapter 3

Something about talking with Justin felt so right. Like, that was who I was supposed to be talking to in that moment in time. Now, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and you just have to figure out what the reasons are on you life's journey.

Time was passing by way to fast, I told Justin I'd meet him at his house at seven, and I probably wouldn't be late. But the amount of time I had wasted picking out the perfect outfit have proven otherwise. I'm so miserably slow at trying to look perfect. I pressed my hands against my legs, feeling the material of the brown dress between my fingers. Then, I pushed my fingers against the thin white band in my hair, and traced it until i got to the white bow on the left side. I decided everything was as good as it was going to get. Nothing exceeds just "okay" as always. I take one big exhale through my nose and make it down the stairs without managing to fall. Before I know it, I am outside and the hot summer air was caressing my back as I paced myself across the street. The moving trucks are already gone, and the sky is a sorbet of colors. One flickering street light fights to come on right in front of Justin's house. I stop at the end of his driveway, I exhale deeply and march myself up to his door. Right when I go to ring the doorbell his mother answers the door. She's beautiful, I instantly feel worse about what I look like tonight. She smiles and she becomes insanely more beautiful, "Come on in," she says opening the door further "You must be Madeline."

His mom leads me to their huge kitchen, and we sit down together. "I've heard a lot about you, believe it or not," She said, "He's very excited about tonight." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile and look down shyly. "I've been pretty nervous." I say, looking back up at her "But I can't quite pinpoint why." She smiles at me and leans forward "First date nerves." Just as she said that i heard someone clear their throat. I turned around slowly and it was Justin. His smile was big when he saw me, and his smile was like a magnet connected to mine, because right when he smiled, I did too. "You look, really, um, wow" was all he could spit out, and all i could do was smile, blush, and look down. "Thanks," I said looking up at him "You look 'really, um, wow'" too, I said calming both of our nerves with a joke. "Do you," He said pausing to look out the window "want to get going?" I stood up, and adjusted the bottom of my dress and nodded. His mother waved goodbye and wished us a good time. "Your mom is really nice." I said, as we were walking towards the garage. "Yeah," he agreed, "I love her." With the click of one button a massive white garage door begins opening with a humming sound, and inside it, was a shiney new, black range rover. I could feel my mouth hanging open, and he looks at me and laughs.

He takes me to a really pricey resturaunt. Looking around at the faces in there, I examine myself once again, and push myself down the ugly scale another notch. He offered his hand as he guided me down the resturaunt to our table. "You know," I said looking at him confused "You seem so familiar, but I just don't know why." He laughed kind of nervously, "That's weird." he said hiding his face in the menu. I just kind of half smiled and looked down at the menu myself.

When the waiter came we ordered and he took the menu, stealing Justin's hiding spot. He looks at my face, "Do you wear contacts?" He asks, breaking a silence. I shake my head, "No, I get asked that a lot though." He kept looking at my eyes, "I haven't seen anyone with the same color eyes as you, they're pretty. I like how they're bright green, with turquoise and a blue ring near the pupil" I smiled, "Thanks." I liked the fact that he actually took the time to notice something about me that most people don't care enough to go into detail. "So," I said, "Tell me more about yourself" We go on and on about favorite movies, colors, foods and more and our of nowhere the waitress comes back with our pates of food. I was getting so wrapped up in the conversation, and in him, that I had completely forgotten we were in public.


	4. Chapter 4

It's crazy to allow myself to get wrapped up in some guy. Some guy I just met. Some guy I just met that acts like he's hiding something, but I can't help myself. He's genuine. One of those people that when you meet the, you know you're going to have a hard time forgetting them. Forgetting we were in public worries me. But, as a matter of fact, I worry over things that a normal person would brush off. "Wow, that was fast!" Justin says, eyeing his food almost ready to shove his face in it. I look down at my own plate and honestly hold myself back. I don't want to look like I haven't eaten in days. But it looks so delicious. "I can't do this anymore," I laugh, "This food looks to delicious, and you can not make fun of me if i get any on my face." He laughs "Thank God, I was about ready to say the same thing." he said cutting up his meat getting ready to put the first bite into his mouth "And if you get any on your face, I'll just have to help you get it off." He said with the piece already in his mouth with a smile from ear to ear. I blush, "If I'm feeling gracious enough." And with that sauce flung up onto my chin. "Oh, crap." I say as I grab my napkin and brush it across my chin. Justin is sitting across the table, looking proud of himself and smiling at me. "You. Wish." I said with laughter holding me back. "I do." he says smiling with the boyish charm radiating of him like sunshine. I shake my head smiling and continue eating.

By the time the bill comes I am completely stuffed. The waitress asks us if we want any dessert, and I have to politely refuse. Justin insists on a slice of cake, to go. "We can share it." he says. I rub my stomach, "I don't know if I'll be able to force another piece of food in my mouth for weeks." He laughs at me, "I like a girl that can eat." Justin wont let me see the bill, and he wont let me see how much he pays, it kind of aggravates me, I want to know how much i cost him. He offers me his hand again, and I take it without even thinking about it, as we walk out the door to the hot heat of California. Even though it's dark out, and only the lights of the city are keeping Los Angeles light up, it's still scolding. This is why I love my city. His shiny new car pulled up and a man with a suit gets out. Justin thanks him, and slides him the money, hoping I didn't see. I can't quite grip what he's hiding. I fumble with my bracelets on my left hand as he opens my door for me. I smile at him, and thank him. The words came out flawless, even I was surprised at how easy it was to be perfect at something. "You're welcome" he says to me, in the window that's rolled down, I grip the side of the car and he touches my hand in acknowledgement. When he's in the drivers seat and turns on the car the radio is at a low tone, and even though it's low, I can still hear the faint sound of the words and lyrics being said. "I still have the cake." He said, smiling over at me. I raised an eyebrow and did a half side-smile. "You'll be lucky if you can get me to eat that." I said, unknowingly leaning towards him with my body. "I like a challenge."

When we get to my house, it's quiet. My brother and parents must be sleeping. I invite him inside and take a quick glace over at his house. The kitchen light is on, but nobody seems to be in it. When we reach my kitchen I pull out two forks. "Get ready for your challenge." I said passing him one of the silver forks. He scooped his fork deep into the cake and pulled out a large chunk of the cake. I bit my lip, as full as I was, that cake looked delicious. "This is teasing you, isn't it?" he said laughing and digging into the cake some more. I bit my lip and nodded "But I am not giving in." He took one look and the cake and one look at me. Without missing a beat he dipped his finger onto the top of the cake revealing a huge wad of frosting and wiping his finger off across my cheek. My mouth falls open and he laughs cleaning off the rest of his finger by licking it, "You look really nice like that." My mouth was still hanging but it started morphing into a wide mouth smile. Moving my hand across the table and tearing off a peice of the cake i placed it right on his face. "You look even better" I said dipping my finger into the frosting that was laid out across my face. Before I could even get the remaining off i felt him even out the frosting by adding some to the other side. "You are so dead I can hear the gravediggers getting their shovels." I said moving around the counter and grabbing him by the back of his shirt. He ducks and tries to cover his face, but I still managed to grab the box and put it right up in his face. I let him loose, and was proud of what I had done, I smiled when he turned around to reveal a chocolate face, topped with frosting hair. He was laughing, and grabbed me gently by the arm, "Come here," he said. I backed away swiftly raising both of my hands which made him loose his grip. "No, no way. There is no way I'm getting any closer" I said, getting the frosting off my face with my finger. "We'll see." He said walking around the counter. I must not have really noticed because when I finally did his lips were pressed to mine and his fingers were at his face moving the frosting from his face onto mine.

Every atom in my body exploded. I wasn't thinking straight anymore. My lips were still pressed to his, and I didn't care that there was cake on my face. This actually seemed kind of perfect. Completely unexpected, and competely unplaned. It was nice. I put my hands through his hair, trying to avoid getting even more frosting in it then there already was. When I finally broke off the kiss we just looked at each other. I don't think we knew exactly what to say, we just kind of smiled. I brought my hand up to my face to feel that It was covered in frosting and cake, but I suprisingly didn't care. He was still only inches away from me and he was still smiling. I didn't exactly know what he was going to say next, but I knew it was probably something big.

"I have something to tell you," he said, moving only a few more itches away from me, but still staying close. "Something, about me, kind of like a secret." I tilted my head with confusion. And then it hit me. This was it, it was the giant let down I have been waiting for since he cut me off for lemonade. I took a deep breath and sat down on a chair at the Island covered in cake. I wasn't ready for the letdown.


	5. Chapter 5

Sometimes when you think someone is about to let you down you run away, anything to save you from something you didn't want to hear. But why would you run? It doesn't stop the letdown, you're just masking it. no matter what,you have to learn that you're always going to be let down. And you can't run from it, because it's only going to chase you. And the more you run the worse you feel, and you can't tell your heart how to feel. So, you can't fix it. You can't make anything better. There is only one controller in life; the heart.

Sitting on the stool with Justin only a few inches from my face i begin to feel my heart racing, and my mind worrying. "Don't worry," he said smiling "It's not bad." He planted himself on the counter centimeters away from where the cake fight remains were. "You know how you said I look familiar?" he asked, getting frosting off his face with his finger. I nodded, and looked directly at him. "I don't really know what to call myself, so, uh," he said returning the gaze. "I'm Justin Bieber." I looked at him and gave him a little laugh "And?" I said, smiling. "I sing." He hopped off the counter and made his way into the living room, where i left my laptop this morning. "What's your password?" He asked, balancing the mac on his lap. I took it from him, and typed in my eight letter password. "I don't get where you're going at." I said admitting I was confused. I sat on the armrest of the couch, and he joined me. He typed in the address to youtube and began searching for something I was unaware existed. I could feel my heart thumping against my chest. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Then he showed me. He showed me a video. A video of him. "Get out," I said watching the video "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? This is so cool" He placed his hand on my arm and looked at me "I don't know, it was kind of silly, I figured you wouldn't want to be friends with me." I looked at him and pinched my eyebrows together "So, you're like, really big?" I asked shifting my eyes back to the computer. "Not really, well, kind of, yeah." I laughed and smiled "Well, I'd still want to be friends with you." He looked at the profile of my face, "again with another surprise, you keep doing that to me" I turned my face to look at his, "What do you mean?" He shrugged, "I was expecting you to at least have heard of me" I shifted my mouth to a corner smile. "Isn't it better that I haven't?"

Early morning sun peeked through my window. It snuck through the blinds like a snake, twisting and turning every which way it needed to go in order to meet my eyes to wake me up. And soon enough, my brother swung my door open "Madeline," he said, putting a shirt on "Are you going to the carnival today?" I raised my hand and twisted my face "Are you serious Dalton? You came in here to ask me if i was going to the carnival?" He looked at me obviously waiting for an answer "I don't know" I gave in, "now go away." Dalton left me alone, and I caught up on some more sleep. Not enough before someone decided to call me "Hello?" I answered without even looking at the caller id. "Hey," It was Justin "Did I wake you?" I had to lie to him, "No, I'm just bored, that's all" I said with a laugh snapping at the end of my words. Something about him made it so easy for me to smile and laugh. "Yeah, me too." he said as if he had something on his mind "so, what's up?" I asked breaking a kind of long pause. "The carnival is in town," he said, sounding eager "Do you want to go?" I shot right up from my sheets "Yes!" I said all too eager and I heard a soft laugh on the end of the other line. "I'll be over in an hour, okay?" I smiled although i know it was silly because he couldn't see me, so i shook the smile off my face and answered him, "Can't wait." Now, what to wear, what to wear.


	6. Chapter 6

When I finally heard my doorbell ring I was not ready. I was still contemplating how I looked the mirror. I didn't want him to wait foreer, but I didn't want to look horrible for him. I weighed the chances, and decided to go downstairs and get the door. "Hi!" He said smiling. I smiled back and invited him inside "Wow, you like pretty." I could feel my cheeks getting hotter from blushing. I twisted my feet together and offered him food. "But if you take some," I said reting my elbows on the island, "You're not allowed to put it on me." He laughed and refused food. "Ready to go?" he asked, eyeing me. I looked down at my outfit, it wasn't too bad. Any other day i'd be happy to go out in public in it, but with him, I felt out of place. "Sure" I smiled at him he lead me to his car and halfway there he stopped and grabbed my hand.

You know that feeling you get when you realize everything is going to be okay? You settle in your skin, and your heart becomes happy. That's me right now. Everything about Justin screams 'I won't hurt you.' I should trust my instincts, but I have been hurt and crumbed so many times my heart doesn't now what to do.

I notice bright colors, and twirling rides and realize we were at the carnival. When he opened my door for me I smelt all the fried food. It smelt delicious. Without a few seconds I realized that y hand was ocked with Justin's again. We were walking side by side, and I honestly felt safe. All my worries flew out the door. He inched a little closer when he walked and I pretended not to notice. While on the inside, I was freaking out. He turned his head to me and smiled "What do you want to do first?" I looked back at him, "It doesn't really matter. You decide." he laughed, "Oh, so you're one of those girls?" He squeezed my hand to let me know he was joking, "Yes. I love being one of those girls" I said, laughing in return. "I guess they can learn to grow on me." he said, laughing and looking away. That's when he noticed them. The bumper cars. "I'm making you do this with me." He said pulling me towards them. "No objections" I said running trying to keep up with his excitement. When we got there, there was a line. I hoisted myself up so I could sit on the railing. He leaned against the wall opposite of me. "I am going to kick your butt." I said, leaning slightly back. "Yeah, we'll see." He said, getting off the wall and moving a little closer. He places a hand on my knee. "Is there even a way to kick someone's butt in bumper cars?" I asked, pretending not to notice his hand. "No, I don't think so. Well, besides constantly bumping them." I looked at him closely. And then the guy running the ride called the net load of people, and we were in it. I ran to the green car, and he darted for the blue. I mouthed to him, "You're going down!" He shook his head and laugh. I instantly felt my car jerk with power and I drove all the way, just to bump him.

When I waked out of the bumper cars area I waited for Justin. I was leaning on the railing when he finally walked out. "What did I say?" I looked at him smiling with a little laughing edge. He laughed "You were right, you kicked my butt." I bowed, "thank you, thank you." he laughed and came down the ramp and instantly hooked hands with me again. "Alright Madeline, where to now?" he asked. "Food." I answered without missing a beat. "As I said," He looked at me and smiled, "I like a girl who can eat." 


	7. Chapter 7

We're just friends. I don't know if I'll be able to handle anything more. My heart has been so emotionally attached to so many people it hurts to think of anyone else as more than a friend. But I've never been in love. Its something I want so bad, but I'm not willing to give enough of myself away. I've heard love is a give and take, but I just don't know if I can give.

Justin lines up at the fried dough stand, and instantly I smile. "You understand me." I said inching a little closer. "Well, I don't know what you want on yours." he said, placing his free hand on the counter. "Powdered sugar and Cinnamon, no doubt." He ordered two of those. When our order number finally came up and Justin insisted that I don't get up to get them. So, I stayed at the picnic table and fumbled with my fingers while he got them. Every essence of me thought this was perfect. This is the perfect moment, and I wish I could freeze it forever. He came back at set one large fried dough in front of me. "I should really pay you back for everything you're buying me." I said tearing the food and shoving it in my mouth. He shook his head, "No, no way. I don't let girls pay on dates." I raised my eyebrow "What if I didn't say this was a date?" He looked over at me, and I couldn't help but look back, "You're still not paying." He said, and continued to eat.

After we finished eating I really didn't want to go on any rides that might cause me to see it again. So, we ended up taking a walk around, our hands placed perfectly with each others. I watched the rides twirl carelessly and noticed all the smiles on everyones faces. The colors were dancing by me, and the warmth of the summer sun was pulsing on my back. I felt his hand instantly become tighter around mine, and I had to smile. Moments like these are perfect. He leaned in close to me, "I decided I'm going to win you something." I push my eyebrows together and smile. "Oh, are you?" I said with a whip of laughter crackling at the end of my sentence. Justin nodded and maneuvered his way through the crowd so perfectly I didn't even bump into anyone. When he decided on a game I watched him play skillfully. It seemed like two seconds before I heard the man say "winner" and Justin told me to close my eyes. I did as he said, surprises like this are my favorite. "Okay, Open" he said, and I could tell he was smiling just by the way he said it. When I didn't finally open my eyes I saw a stuffed giraffe staring back at me. "I noticed you had a lot of giraffe print rings, necklaces, and purses in your room" He said handing it to me. I smiled, "They're my favorite animal." I hugged him while the giraffe was still on the side of my arm. "I love it, thank you." He smiled at me "No problem."

It was starting to get dark out, and all the lights on the rides flickered on. They were all so beautiful and fluorescent. "You know," Justin said leaning towards me so I could hear "There is supposed to be fireworks tonight. We should go on the Ferris wheel." I eyed the Ferris wheel and looked into his eyes. "I'm kind of afraid of heights." He looked at me and I could tell everything that was about to come out of his mouth was sincere. "If you're with me, you'll be fine. I promise I won't let anything happen to you." I looked back over to the Ferris wheel, he slightly squeezed m hand assuring me everything is okay. I kept my eyes on the Ferris wheel and sighed. "If I die, I blame you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and began walking towards the wheel with Justin. The line was short, and even though I've never been on one, I knew this was rare. When I was little I used to look over at the Ferris wheel and see at least two hundred people lined up waiting for their turn on the ride. We got in line and I shot my head up to look at the top of the ride. I could feel my heart beat inside of my chest getting faster and faster. But then when I looked back down at Justin, I felt alright. "I can not believe I am doing this." I admitted to him, and he just smiled. Time passed rather fast while waiting in the line, and before I knew it, we were next in line for a cart. When one finally showed up, the tight grip on my hand became even tighter. I had my giraffe in one hand, and Justin's in the other. I sat down in the cart and Justin sat right there next to me. "Everything is fine." He said, assuring me that everything is great, and nothing is going to happen. The ride took off, lifting us into the air. "Oh gosh... Oh gosh..." was all that could come out of my mouth. I dug my face into Justin and he put his arm around me. "Look, everything is fine." he said smiling. My body finally calmed down, and I sat straight again. I could see the whole carnival from up here. All the bright neon lights flashing, all the little kids buying cotton candy, and all the game with their loud music bursting. And before I knew it, Justin kissed me. And everything was perfect again.


	8. Chapter 8

Perfect, in the sense that a million emotions and thoughts were traveling through my head as we kissed. I was happy, because I really think I might like him. Sad, because I'd be upset if I screwed this up. Scared, because I don't want to loose this and Excited, because he is perfect. I broke away and looked up at the star scattered sky. A firework exploded. "Talk about timing." Justin said, and kissed me shortly again. "I really like you, Madeline." he said, looking into my eyes. I locked my eyes on his. Was this really happening? It all felt so surreal. Here was Justin. The amazing, kind, and apparently famous person. And here was I, Madeline. Just Madeline. With an obsession with giraffes, photography, acoustic music, and floral prints. We weren't completely opposites, so does that mean we're great together. "I really, really, like you a lot too, Justin" I said still staring into his eyes. I honestly didn't know if this was all real. I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be real more than anything in the world. But still, in the very back of my mind, I still won't forget that every great thing comes to an end.

We were still at the top of the Ferris wheel, but it felt like we were on top of the world. I smiled and leaned closer to him and I felt the warmth of his body surround me. With one quick motion his arm was around me. I smiled to myself and when I did, the sky lit up in fireworks again. The cracks and the screams from the fireworks were loud. Stinging my ears as the screamed into the sky and cracked with one swift motion. I looked at Justin and his face was lighting up with the colors in the sky. I placed my head on his shoulder, and it seems as if two seconds after i did that, his chin was at the top of my head. I don't know if anything could get better.

After we got off the Ferris wheel he put his hand at my waist so we could hear each other over the loud explosions of the fireworks. "I told you I wouldn't let anything happen to you." I just looked at him and smiled. I pushed myself on my toes and kissed him on the cheek innocently. He smiled back down at me. We made our way through the maze of people, sometimes bumping into the grumpier ones and getting out fast. We made it to his car and slid into it. When we finally got out of the long traffic line he took the back roads back to our street. It gave us time to talk and enjoy each others company. "I wasn't lying, you know" he said, taking his eyes off the road to look at me. "About what?" I asked returning the gaze. "liking you." he turned his brights on. "I know you weren't. I was serious too." I said twisting the end of my shirt in my fingers. I could feel him sigh with relief. It kind of worried me that he thought I took it as a joke. I'm not the sarcastic type when it comes to feelings. I take everything head on, and expect the worst. The ride home was barely awkward. We laughed at the same jokes, sang the same songs, and discovered more common interests. It seemed way too short of a ride, because before I knew it, he was pulling into my driveway. I looked down and held the giraffe he won he close to my body. "You can come in if you want, and we could watch a movie or something." anything, I didn't care. I just didn't want to say goodbye. He agreed, so fast it was almost like he could read my mind. I reached for the handle to open the door. "Whoa, whoa, whoa" he said holding his hand up "what do you think you are doing?" I looked at him confused, and he just got out of the car. He came around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. "What a gentleman." I said laughing. I grabbed my hand for the two second walked to my door and smiled.

I twisted the handle on my door and my brother was downstairs. "Sup, ugly?" he said when he saw me walking in the door. "Ugly's friend." he said, noticing Justin. "Nice to see you too, Dalton." He went upstairs with enough bags of chips to last him the weekend. "What movie do you want to watch?" I asked Justin, pointing the the row of DVDs. "Why do you have so many? there's got to be 400." he said admiring them all. "Dalton has no life." I said digging through my fridge. "I'll be right back, I need to get out of these jeans." I said and I went upstairs to my room. As soon as I got there I flew on my bed and landed on my back, just thinking about how great this day went.


	9. Chapter 9

Ever since I was little I was taught to use logic and you'd never go wrong. Using logic is what I'm good at, but right now, logic doesn't matter. I'm going to do what makes my heart happy, I'm going to do what makes me happy.

After I put some sweatpants on I went back down scared. Part of me was scared he'd laugh at me, because this is the first time he'd ever see me not put together. The other part laughed, because I knew he wasn't that way. I squeezed my eyes together for a second, and brought myself back to reality. The wooden stairs were slightly cod against my bare feet, so I made the trip as fast as possible. I pranced off the last step and saw Justin already on the couch, and already comfortable. "How do you do it?" he said, looking up at me. I shot him a confused look and couldn't think of anything to say. "How do you still look so beautiful?" I covered my face with my hands. I could feel my cheeks getting hot and embarrassed. I could hear him laugh and stand up from the couch. I felt his arms wrap around me, and his strength pick me up. He put me down on the couch, and my hands were still over my cooling face. "Madeline," he said sitting down next to me "You're going to have to take your hands off your face sometime." He places his hand on one of my arms. "I'll do it later." I said, although it was muffled. He understood me though, because he gave a little chuckle.

"I don't want to watch a movie." He said, finally getting my hand off my face. I sunk into the couch so I was practically laying down. He pulled my legs up and put them on top of his lap. I looked up at him and I could feel my face twist with confusion. "So, what do you want to do?" My hair was in my face so I used my hand to push it away. "I don't know, we could just.. talk." He said laying down facing the other direction. "We can do that." The smile on my face grew. I was glad he couldn't see it though. I twisted my hair in my fingers and looked up at the ceiling. "What do you want to do when you grow up?" He asked me adjusting his body so he was comfortable. "I don't really know, right now I'm leaning towards second grade teacher." I put my hands down on my stomach while I waited for him to say something "So, you like little kids?" Justin said, and I could tell he had a smile on his face. "I love them."

We talked about hopes, dreams, and future ambitions all night. He liked singing but wants to be an architect. Everything he wants to be dragged me in more. He seemed way too good to be true. And to think that there is a chance that he might be interested in someone like me. That was the insane part of it all.

"Madeline," I heard a familiar voice say "Wake up." It was Dalton. I squeezed my eyes tight together in an attempt to wake myself up. "Did you guys sleep down here all night?" Dalton asked pushing my arm from above the couch. "Who?" I asked still groggy from my sleep. "You and Justin." I woke up faster at the sound of his voice. I looked down at the other edge of the couch. There was Justin, sleeping. We must have fallen asleep while we were talking. Dalton went back upstairs when he realized I was awake. He left me alone most of the time. He didn't really like me. I don't understand why. I heard Justin start to wake up and I sat up completely. "Morning." he said sitting up and moving closer to me. "Did you sleep okay?" I nodded, although there was a throbbing pain in my back. "What do you want to do today?" He said moving his arm around me. Honestly, it didn't matter if I was with him.


	10. Chapter 10

My stomach was talking to me. It was growling so loud that I was surprised Justin couldn't hear it. "First thing we're doing today?" I said, hopping off the couch, "Eating." He smiled and held both his hands in the air asking me to help him up. I grabbed them and pulled him to his feet. "Check out the guns." he said grabbing my bicep (or should I say lack of) and laughing. "Come on, muscles, lets hit the kitchen." I pulled my feet into the kitchen, dragging them against the cold tile floor. the floor wasn't cold, it was freezing. When i got to one of the stools in the kitchen I brought my legs up and hugged them close to my chest. But soon enough I realized that Justin didn't know where the food was. I got up and dug through the cabinets looking for food, anything. I found batter. "We can make pancakes." I said, removing the yellow box from the cabinet and sitting on my perch again. "I am an excellent pancake chef," Justin said, picking up the yellow box and looking at the ingredients. "I won't allow you to help me make them." He said sternly. He sounded so grown up. So.. sexy. I pulled my legs closer to myself and smiled. He moved himself around the kitchen perfectly and before I knew it the aroma of pancakes was filling the air.

The pancakes were great. They had hints of vanilla and cinnamon in them. That is my favorite combination of scents and tastes. It was perfect. "How did you get them so good?" I asked enjoying every savory sweet piece available. He smirked "It's a family secret. If I tell you, I'd have to kill you." He said licking the remains of the batter off a spoon. "How cliche" I mocked digging my fork into another pancake. He laughed and cleaned the spoon off. When I ate all i could I brought the plate to the sink. "I can do that." Justin said, getting up from the stool he was sitting at. "No, I can do it. You made the food, it's the least I can do." He came up behind me and tried to snatch the plate from me. I raised it above my head and his arm reached it. We were both holding on to a small piece of the plate and laughing. I gave in, only because he wasn't going to give up. I let go of the plate and sat back on my stool. I watched him wash the dishes kind of irritated that he wouldn't let me help out the least bit. it was my house. I gave up on the battle because I knew I wasn't going to win.

It was about noon when we finally decided to get out of the house. Justin brought me too a lake. The water was shimmering from the sunshine and I could hear little kids splashing around with their parents. The sand was hot on my feet and it made me sort of jump until we found a place to settle down. When we finally did I put my towel on the sand and felt Justin watching me. I turned around only to find out I was right. "What?" I said with a smile on my face. "Nothing." he said when he realized he was staring. His face lowered and his eyes were focusing on the sand. I moved my toes around letting the grains fall between the crevices of my toes. I lifted my shirt off my body and let the heat of the sun pulse on my shoulders and back. The green sparkle of the water was luring me in. Justin started walking towards the water so I had to join him. I was walking slowly, taking in all the sunshine, and letting the grains of sand fall between my toes. When I got to the edge of the water I let it play at the edge of my feet. Pulling out, and pushing in. I inched myself in deeper and realized the water was perfect. Justin was already out to his waist and I was just looking at him. His body turned around and sunk in to his neck. "C'mmon Madeline!" he said, brushing his hands at the surface of the water. I inched myself in more and felt the waves crash against my skin. "How's the water out there?" I said, getting on the tip of my toes. He swam back to me and grabbed my waist. He pulled me out deeper with him. that's when it hit me, Justin is someone I could get used to.

The water was moving between my fingers and toes. That is, until Justin collided his fingers with mine. I bobbed my head up fast, and sank below the surface. When I got back up his hand was still in mine, and his hair was wet. He'd gone under the water too. "This is refreshing." He said, looking at me. "Yeah it is." I said taking my free hand and pushing the water out of my eyes. My toes were slicing through the water and I could feel Justin's doing the same. They pushed against each other for a while during a silence that wasn't awkward at all. This time during the silence though, he didn't kiss me. I kissed him. He put his free hand on the back of my head, and pushed some of his fingers through my hair.

We got back on the beach and I sat on my towel. Justin disappeared to the bathroom and I was watching little kids splash each other and build sand castles. I also watched girls around the age of fourteen strut towards a group of guys who were giving each other high-fives. I had my sunglasses on so they were unable to see that I was staring. The group of girls were wearing practically skin, and their bathing suits were two sizes too small. I felt eyes on my back. I turned around to see Justin holding two ice cream cones. Some of the girls eyed Justin giggling and pointing, and the guys rolled their eyes. "I hope you didn't find those in the bathroom." I said, looking up at Justin who was still standing above me. He licked one of them and motioned to me to take the other one. I did, and he sat down beside me. "So, what do you say?" He said shaking his hair so he was able to look at me. "Thank you." I said, eating the ice cream. He smiled and shook his head. "No, not about that," He said looking me in the eyes. "About being my girlfriend." I smiled at him. "Is that your way of asking me out?" I asked. He laughed "Well, I thought of some pretty romantic things earlier, but I figured you really like the simple things." I smiled. Justin understood me. "Well then," I said with a smile in my voice "I think I am saying yes."


	11. Chapter 11

I turned in the mirror, looking at the different shades of red on my back, arms, chest, and legs. I sighed staring at myself face on in the mirror. It was dark out. The streetlights had already turned on, shimmering orange on the sidewalks. I looked out my window to see Justin's house. A light to a room turned on and I saw a body moving around. I decided not to keep watching, in fear that it would be his mother. I dragged my feet against the hardwood floor in my bedroom. My white shirt made the burns I got at the lake today radiate off my skin. But on the other hand, It was the first time in a while that I had felt completly happy. It was the first time that I knew nothing bad could ever come from it. I pulled my covers out from being tucked in and slipped into bed.

In the morning Dalton didn't wake me up. I wasn't disturbed. It was weird. I crawled out of bed and peeked my head into Dalton's room. His body was tangled in a sea of sheets with his girlfriend. I don't understand why Dalton was still going strong with Melody. The only times I ever saw her was when she was completly stoned out of her mind, stumbling through the front door looking for a good lay. He could do so much better. I shut his door silently and make my way down the stairs. For the first time this month, my mother was in the kitchen. I hadn't seen her much since she met her new boyfriend ad spent every ounce of her time trying to please him. I folded my arms across my chest asnd stared at her. "Goodmorning, sweetheart." She said, using her teabag to stir the steam that was rising from her glass. "Do you want breakast?" I looked behind her shoulder to see a basket of bagels sitting on the countertop. I shook my head. I didn't know how to bond with her. I didn't know what her intrests were anymore. I went to the front door only to hear my mothers muffled confusion. "Where are you going?" she asked peering over the counter. "Out." I responded slamming the door shut, and grabbing a cardigan. I knew where I wanted to go. I wanted to go across the street, but would that be awkward? I didn't care. I marched myself over there not caring to look down the street for any passing cars. When I got to the door I rang the bell. I started to think it was a bad idea when nobody answered. I pushed my hai behind my ears and pulled the sleeves of my cardigan over my hands. While I was turning around and walking down the walkway I heard my name. "Madeline?" It was his mom. I turned around. "Hi, I know this is probably a bad time and i'm sorry, I was just..." I said, leaving my thoughts trailing. Should I tell her I was running away from my mother I no longer knew how to bond with? Should I tell her I was just trying to avoid my brothers stoner girlfriend? "Bored." I dediced to finish my sentance. "No, no," She said, with a warm smile. "Come in."

Their living room was where she decided to lead me. I heard skipping footsteps pacing down the stairs. It was Justin. he was smiling. You know how when you see something just so great you're stunned but all you do is smile and take in the moment? That was me. Just staring, just smiling. He threw his body on the couch next to me and kissed the top of my head. "What's up?" He beamed. I looked back at him with a dissapearing smile. "Nothing," I said, lowing my eyes to my hands that were still covered by the knit of my cardigan "Just, bored. Needed something to do." I lied. I wasn't bored. I was escaping. But now that I was with him, nothing realy mattered. That just seems to be the way he makes things.

I sat with his mom at the penninsula in the kitchen. She offered me numerous amounts of foods and I polietly turned them away. Justin was upstairs showering. I should probably go do the same. "I'm going to head out." I said and his mom turned around. "To shower, yeah.." my voice trailed off. His mom waved and said goodbye from the window that veiwed out to the front lawn. I made my way back to my house which was already abandoned by my mother. Dalton and Melody were standing in the kitchen, eating breakfast. I ignored them and made my way upstairs and into the shower.

The steam evacuated the bathroom with me. I was all wrapped up in a towel moving towards my room. I heard vibrations on my bed. It was my phone. I answered it swiftly and without looking at who it was. "Hello?" The voice at the other end of the phone was Justin. "Hey. I'm taking you out for a suprise today. No questions asked." He said an hung up the phone before I could get a word in. All I could do was smile and gget ready. 


	12. Chapter 12

I know life isn't perfect. I've been reminded so many times i can't count. But as of right now, my life was as close to perfect as i'd seen in a long time. I am so determined to keep everything in my life a total constant. I i could freeze time so it'd stay this great all the time. But that's just me getting carried away.

I got dressed pretty fast. My closet was unusually organized. I pulled on jean shorts, a white tank, and a purple long sleeved cardigan. I slapped on my brown leather flip flops and headed over to Justin's house. It wasn't hot outside. It was cool. I clapped my flip flops on the ground and dragged my feet on the rocky pavement across the road. My right flop slipped off my foot and I felt a pinch in the ball of my foot. My body turned itself around while balancing on one foot to pick up the stray shoe. My balance was shaky, but I managed to do it. I had to hop my way to the front door because whenever I put my right foot down I felt the sharp pain of something digging into the ball. I raised my hand to knock on the door but Justin was already opening it. He looked at me all twisted trying to keep from stabbing myself with the unknown object in my foot. "What re you doing?" He laughed offering a hand for me to hold onto. "I got something in my foot." I said grabbing the hand left out in the summer sun. "Well, in that case," He said with a smile on his face. "You can't walk." He took the hand I was holding and pulled my close to him. His other hand fell behind the bends of my knees and lifted me into the house. Justin put me on one of the chairs in the kitchen. "Alright, let me see this battle wound of yours." He said picking up my foot with his hand. He examined it and then found the source. "Ouch." He said placing both of his hands on my foot. "You have a palm needle in your foot." I yanked my foot out of his arms and looked at it. Using my fingers to try and get it out would be useless.

After Justin successfully got the palm needle out of my foot he walked me out to the car. "Can you please just tell me where you're taking me?" I asked, looking over at him. "No." he said with a laugh riding the tail end of his word. I gave up. One thing i'm never going to do is keep at an argument I know I won't win. He turned the dial on the radio making the base pump and the volume rise. "I love this song!" I said jumping up with excitement. "Am I so weird because I like Journey?" He smiled at me, "No. I think you are perfectly normal." He let the chorus of the song slip by before he looked at me again and mumbled "And I think you are perfect." I let the whisper dance through my mind. I smiled and slid into my seat deeper. He thought I was perfect. Some heat inside me was warming. I've never been perfect to anyone. Not my parent, not my brothers, not my friends. And here I was, the farthest thing from perfection to everything i've ever encountered. except one. To him, I was perfect.

He pulled into a parking lot. The white lines on the dark pavement seemed to last forever. I counted the lines and watched the white change into yellow. "Where am I?" I asked when Justin opened my door reminding me that I still had places to go. He smiled and kissed the top of my head before helping me out of the shiny black car. "You'll see" he smiled. His hand latched on to mine and a magnetic force pulled us together. Our forearms were pressed together as well as our hands. A big blue door seemed to come out of nowhere. Justin pulled the silver handle to reveal a hallway with black shiny doors with silver plates on them labeling the rooms by numbers and letters. He opened the door to room 21A, placed his hand over my eyes and whispered "no peeking." The room was loud. There were three or four people laughing and drumming their hands. "Yo, JB." came from inside, but the slices in his fingers were only letting in light, not pictures. "Who did you bring, man?" I lifted my hands up to meet his. I wedged my fingers in between his fingers and my forehead and peeled his hand off my face finger by finger. The shade of his fingers was gone and I noticed we were in a recording studio. The only people I recognized in there were Usher and Asher Roth. "Guys," Justin said becoming more comfortable with himself. It was almost as if her felt at home. "This is Madeline." He said stepping to the side a little to let them all get a good look at me. "Madeline, this is Usher, Asher, Alfredo, and Scooter." He said pointing to each of them individually and they all raised their hands and smiled at me. "Hey Madeline." Usher said, breaking any awkward silence that could have been born in the moment. "JB," I heard Scooter whisper and felt him move closer "Did you tell her yet?" I saw Justin shake his head lightly trying not to be noticeable while I was talking to Usher. "Maddy," Justin said gripping my hand, "Sit down."


	13. Chapter 13

Sometimes when I try to control myself I end up being more out of control than I was to begin with. By trying to tame myself every fiber of my being ends up getting unwound and crazy. And when I'm worried about what might pop out of someones mouth next, some things start to get wild.

Justin dragged a stool across the carpeted floor and patted the top so I would sit. I did, hesitantly. I could feel my heart pace speed up. Everyone in the room was acting so uncomfortable. Justin gripped both of my hands in mine. "People like my music." He said rubbing the palm of my hands with his thumbs. "Great. That's great!" I said, but to me, it sounded like a question. His face twisted as if someone flicked him on the back of the neck and caused him to wince. But even though his face was changing, his eyes were still locked to mine. "No, people like my music, as in, i'm leaving. on tour." He wasn't looking at me anymore. "Oh." slipped out of my mouth with obvious disappointment. "But that's good right, that's really good!" He smiled up at me and the room became less dense. "It's only for a couple months." he added. Months. Months. Months? It was silly of me to get concerned. It's not like I've known him for every long. But I was in the first relationship that I actually felt comfortable in. I felt as if this time, it was going to last. But now every hope and dream inside of me that believed that had been shattered into a million pieces. It was done. Over. But surprisingly, i'm not broken. I have been let down so many times in my life that I just learn to move on. "How many months, to be exact?" i asked playing with the edges of my shorts. "Three" Justin whispered avoiding eye contact. He was still standing in front of me, his hands caressing mine. I gave his hand a light squeeze of assurance. "That's not that bad." I chimed, trying to stay on the positive side. "I mean, we have web cams and stuff.." My voice lingered and trailed off. Justin was on the bright side with me. Asher smiled "Man, you got lucky." He shook his hand through his reddish hair. "What?" I saw Justin's back. He was facing Asher with confusion. "Most girls would definitely not be that cool with that." He said playing with the knobs in the recording studio.

When Justin grabbed my hand two hours later I knew he wanted to leave. I said my goodbyes to my new friends and hugged one or two of them. My arm was extended and my hand was connected to Justin when he opened the door. After it shut he stopped dead in his tracks "Are you sure you're cool with tour?" His eyes read uncertainty. "Yeah! This will be really good for you! And I mean it's no surprise people like your music, you're amazing. Even if I wasn't cool with it, there'd be nothing I could do." He tilted his face and molded his eyes like a child confused in school. "You sure?" he asked. I smiled at him, and let out the slightest laugh "Positive." His hands were moved to my cheeks and the air that was moving through my lips was replaced with his own lips. I moved my hands through his hair on the back of his head. Before we both wanted to end The studio door opened and out came Alfredo. "Uh.. Sorry." He said moving his feet back into the studio. "Nah man, it's okay." Justin said with an apology in his voice. "Aight." Alfredo said, walking down the opposite end of the hall. "That was awkward." I said while Justin pulled his arm around me. "A little" he said, walking toward the door.

Everything was back to the way it should be. I wasn't worried about missing him, and he wasn't worried about missing me. Of course we would miss each other, it's in a humans nature to miss the person they felt most connected with at the time they left. Right now though, all I was doing was enjoying every single moment I had with him. Not because they would soon be limited, but because that's just the way things seem to go when I'm with him. Justin is a ray of sunshine. Not in the corny way, but in the realest way that could possibly be said.

"Lucky Number?" Justin said putting his hands on the ground and his legs over the couch. "21." I said with my legs over his stomach. "Hm," he groaned in thought, but it was louder than he expected it to be. "Why are we doing this?" I laughed pressing my head against the armrest of the couch. "I don't know" He admitted "But I can't get up until you decide to move your legs." I swooped them off of him with one swift motion and he flung his upper body up smoothly. He pressed his lips against mine and then unlocked them. It was innocent. It was my favorite kind of kiss. "I got these extra blankets if you need them," Justin's mom said coming into the room. "You never know." Justin looked up at his mom, it wasn't hateful, it wasn't telling her to go away, it was loving, "thanks mom." He smiled. "No problem." She trusted us, and that meant the world to me. "Mom knows best" he joked after she left the room. "Oh really," I added "I thought that was Brooke and Hulk Hogan." He smiled up at me one of those 'shut up' smiled "Ha. Ha." he said sarcastically. "Has anyone ever told you that you might be the funniest person alive?" I moved closer to him "No," i said "But you just did." I ended my sentence with a kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

Everything about kissing Justin feels right. There's that tinge of electricity that races through your body. And nothing is rushed. It's like when you're a little kid and you're learning how to ride a bike, you're both scared and excited. You're scared because you don't want to fall and get hurt, left with bruises and scars, but you''re excited because it's one of the greatest feelings in the world. Letting loose and giving it your all.

I woke up in the morning to a foot wedged in my side and a dog with it's paws on the couch near my face. "Good morning." I mumbled to the dog and I heard a faint "Good morning to you too." I picked my upper body off the couch and stared at the dog. "What?" I whispered to myself. A quiet laughter erupted from the other side of the couch. It was Justin. "What?" I repeated again, moving slightly closer to him. "You're dumb." He said, with a smiled that only appeared on one side of his face. "My dog doesn't talk." I looked down and tried to think of a good comeback, but none were emerging. I sunk my shoulders into a slouch signaling that i had given up. "I take that back," he said sitting up "You're not dumb." I raised one eyebrow and smiled "I know I'm not." His arms wrapped around me and pulled me down on the couch laying next to him.

"Justin." his mom called walking into the living room "Are you going to start packing?" She asked, putting a pile of folded clothes onto the love seat just a few feet away. I shook myself free from his grip and sat up, "Packing?" I asked. He sat up right next to me a put his arm across my back and latched his hand onto my shoulder. "For tour." he admitted sulking. I pulled my eyebrows together "When exactly are you leaving?" His eyes traveled to the floor until they were locked there. He was guilty. "Saturday." I shrugged my shoulder signaling for him to drop his hand, he did. "That's three days." His sorry eyes locked in place with mine, "I know, I'm sorry." I half smiled. There wasn't anything I could do. But, he was still leaving, and i was still going to find a way to deal. This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty, so when the whole thing spills, you aren t as devastated.

While Justin was packing I decided to go home and get something to eat. My head was flung over the island on top of my arms. Just thinking. I honestly didn't have anything to be sad about. I dragged my feet to the pantry and looked inside. All there was were chips and oreo's so I grabbed a handful of oreo's and sat back down on my stool. "Whataryaupto?" Dalton piped from the stairs. He always managed to fit everything together so it sounded like one word. "Eating." I said with my face still in my arms. "Yeah? The table?" He sarcastically shot at me. I nodded my head in my hands but all it could look like was my head flopping from side to side. I felt the cool air from the refrigerator slide over my hands as Dalton opened and closed the fridge finding nothing in there that struck his interest. A vibration started from the end of the table and i slapped my hand over my phone and dragged it to my face. "Hello?" I said, even though i knew exactly who it was going to be. "Madeline?" My head jerked off the table and I instantly bolted to my room for privacy. "Melanie?" I said, slamming my back against my door and sliding down to the ground. "How's California?" She asked with Sympathy in her voice. "Probably nothing compared to London." i admitted with jealousy stinging the end of my words. She realized it. Melanie left me. Left everyone here in California all because her mom's job moved her to London. Which wasn't her fault, but she had multiple housing offers with everyone she knew. "Is that housing offer still available?" She asked with hesitance in her voice. I stood up and rolled my eyes. Then I smiled, "Uh, yeah, I guess." I immediately regretted saying that. I didn't need another person to let me down, and knowing her, she would. I marched myself over to my desk and pulled out an old scrapbook full of memories and sat on the floor.

I'm used to consistancy. Everything right now in my life was far from consistancy. I had my boyfriend leaving to go on a three month tour, and friend coming from London to bunk in myguest room, and things could no doubt get worse. The door bell rang and I skidded my feel across the carpet and shuffled them down the stairs and to the front door. "Hey." It was Justin, staring back at me with a big smile on his face. The contageous smile that got me everytime. I grabbed him by his hand and led him inside. Dalton was still in the kitchen, devouring anything he could find in his way. I lept onto the second stair and pranced up them skipping every other like a child in grade school out at recess. He didn't quite follow the same rythem I did. The scrapbook was still piled on the floor with pictures seeping out from the seams begging to escape. The pictures weren't the only ones. He picked a few up and examined the faces and expressions. "You look sad" He noted, more to himself than anyone else. "Hurt is a really funny thing, actually." I said, pondering the photographs scattered around my floor. "While at the time it may make you feel weak, in the long run, you always come out stronger than you were before." Justin shuffled through pictures and of years back. The pile was bottomless, it seemed. A few of them made him laugh, some of them made him think was a freak, but the majority of them, I looked sad. It took two hours before we were finally finished with the scrapbook. It was flying above my face supported by four arms. We were on my bed, our feet were intertwined together by the knees. I don't know what it is about him, but when we were together, nothing else matters.


	15. Chapter 15

The last few days I had with Justin happened so fast. Almost too fast. I was standing at the edge of his driveway surrounded by his warmth and his hands. My face was pressed against his chest and my vision was blurry. I felt tears start to slip out of my eyes, and I tried so hard not to get them on his shirt. His grip tightened and his chin was on the top of my head. "This is going to suck." he confessed. I nodded staining his shirt with my saltwater tears. I pulled away from him only far enough to look him straight in the eyes. "But you're going to do so great on this tour." I brought myself back into his chest. "Justin." his mom said swinging open the door to the huge bus in front of his house "Are you ready?" His face swung in the direction of his mom, who was hanging off the side of the door with a look that could only mean she felt bad. "five more minutes mom." He begged. I wanted to yell out 'ten'. Justin was still holding me securly but still managed to pull away enough to connect his lips with mine. I was really going to miss this. "I'm going to miss you." He said the second he broke the kiss. Before I could even begin to process the next thing I was going to say he chimed in again "And, I'm going to call you everyday." I smiled looking right into his eyes "I don't expect you to do that." His eyes locked with mine and he pulled me in close "Madeline, I sware." I bit the corner of my lip and kissed him one more time before his mom popped out of the bus again. "I'm really sorry Justin, but we have to go." She was sincerly sorry. You could see it in her eyes. He backed up from me a little and gave me one last kiss, "Bye Maddy, I love you, I'll call you." Whoa, that was a lot to drop on me. But he said it. He said he loved me. "Bye, I love you too." And I can honestly say I meant it. I watched him dissapear into the tour bus, and I watched the tourbus slip away around the corner and all I could think about was if he was watching me too.

I shuffled my feet across the street when I could no longer see the tourbus. I couldn't bring myself to go inside yet, so I shuffled all the way to the back yard and collapsed in the grass. I felt the prickles of the blades come through the creveces of the fabric that made up my clothes. And they itched the skin that wasn't covered by denim. The palms of my hands were spread out among the blades. I opened my eyes and all I saw was the tree in my backyard. I half expected him to be there, laying right down next to me. Even though I knew there wasn't the slightest chance that that was going to happen I gathered up every ounce of hope in me and still believed the lies I taught myself. I closed my eyes once more only to reveal that it was foolish of me to think otherwise.

I suppose I fell asleep on the grass because before I knew it the sun had fallen down behind the trees and the stars illuminated the sky. The blades of grass left a pattern of stripes along my legs. The back door was open and it took full force to open it. I wasn't in the mood to make any food but my stomach was telling me I needed to eat. I snatched a bag of chips and headed up to my room. Before I could even open my door I heard the faint vibration of my phone on my bedstand. I dropped the chips on the ground and tripped over everything in my path on my race to the phone. "Hello?" I spat out tripping over a stray shoe and falling on the hardwood floor. "Wow, um, is everything okay?" the voice on the other end asked. It was Melanie. My heart sank. I really didn't feel like talking to her. "Yeah," I lied "Everything is fine." Shifts were heard on the other side of the line "You know how I asked if you still meant your offer?" she asked hesitantly. "Yeah." Her voice was cracking, as if she had just got over a nice sob "When can I come?" I rolled my eyes and collapsed on my bed "Whenever you need to." I said without hesitation even though I wanted to scream 'never' and hang up the phone. "I'll be ther in three days" she said with cracks seeping through her voice. "And Madeline," she whispered "Thank you." 


	16. Chapter 16

It's funny how when you really start to look at something, you realize that it doesn't actually belong. It's misplaced, lost, or sometimes even, thrown out. I imagine that's what Melanie felt like when she called me. Thrown out. And even though I was missing Justin, I still needed to be there for her, because one day when I need someone, I hope she'd be there for me. I had talked to Justin recently and he's having a lot of fun. Part of me wishes I could be there, but I know I'd either get bored or be in the way. And I didn't want to be the one to hold him back.

A faint knock on my door was all I heard from my room and I knew right away that it was Melanie. I hopped down the stairs and pulled on the handle. "You don't know how much this means to me. You really don't." I didn;t need to say anything to her, I just pulled her into a hug and let her cry. "You're an amazing friend, and I don't think I deserve this." We were still embraced in the hug when my phone started vibrating in my poket. "Mel," I said shyly, "I really need to take this. I'm sorry." She smiled up at me and shoo'd me off to the living room where I sat on the couch where I can remember spending all my time with Justin.

"Hello?" I answered with a smile on my face. "Miss me yet?" The voice on the other line replied with a small laugh crackling at the end of the sentence. "Not really." A lied, laughing with him. "Yes, Justin, I do miss you, I really do." His side of the line became quieter, and I could hear him fussing with someone in the room with him. "Justin.." I whispered, trying to get his attention. "Justin." I said again more sternly. "Sorry Mad. I was talking to my mom. But I have really good news for you." My heart got excited. I could imagine the possibilities that he was going to say. All of them included being the biggest new artist. "What?" I smiled. "I want you to join me on tour for about a week. Just me and you. I really miss that." This was not the time for that. I wanted to see him so bad, I really did, but I had Melanie. This time, it was my side of the line being quiet. "Madeline," He said, "You don't have to if you don't want to." I don't know how he could always tell when something was wrong. It was his sixth sense. He swore it was the way my eyes worked. They'd glow and twinkle when I was happy, and they'd get darker when something was wrong. But it wasn't my eyes this time. I looked at Melanie in the kitchen helping herself to all the food she could possibly eat. "I want to I really do, it's just.." I left off the conversation not knowing how to tell him that I couldn't because Melanie was here. I didn't want him to think someone that abandoned me was more important to me than him. Because that wasn't true. "But what?" He asked. I could hear the tone of his voice get sad. "I have Melanie staying with me for a while. She just showed up not five minutes ago." He sighed into the phone and I could hear a lot of rustling. "You know what?" He said, his voice noticebly louder. "I don't care. Bring her with you. Do whatever you have to do. I just want to see you, because I miss you." My eyes traced my house back to Melanie. She was looking at me. She probably heard her name fall out of my mouth. "Hold on." I said to Justin on the other end of the phone. "Mel, Come here."

I talked to Melanie for what seemed like hours about going to see Justin. I didn't think she'd be up for it considering the amout of traveling she's done the past three years of her life. "Why are we sitting here instead of getting you to him?" She asked with a smile. "Come on, lets pack!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs into my room. Finally, everything was coming together for once.


End file.
